Starless
by Oracle in Vayne
Summary: Beast Boy intrudes upon what may become Raven's last visit to the rooftop.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: This quick piece really wasn't intended to mean anything; it was more of a writing exercise than anything else. There_ is_ a second half after this. Reviews are appreciated.**

* * *

"Dude! You so totally just cheated!" Beast Boy pointed an accusing finger at Cyborg while awkwardly manipulating the controller in his other hand. He was now behind by two kills and would not likely catch up. Still, he clicked the sticks and buttons frantically, his entire body twisting in an exaggerated reflection of his onscreen moves.

Cyborg remained fixated on the screen. "Since when is it cheating to blade you while you're busy flicking boogers at the screen?"

"I was not!"

The android laughed to himself. He had clearly seen his friend doing exactly that- he knew it and Beast Boy knew it. But there was no way he would ever concede. Better to leave that one alone.

"Really? Must have been a hallucination from kickin' your green ass eleven times in a row, then."

"Nine times," Beast Boy mumbled back, shifting impatiently in his seat. He pulled up the scope on his virtual weapon and took aim- but a grenade exploded directly under his character, killing him instantly and leaving Cyborg with only two points to go.

"Actually, it was seven times," Cyborg said. "But if you say nine, then we'll go with that."

Beast Boy's scowl deepened, causing Cyborg to laugh again. The game continued, with Beast Boy at last scoring a sixth point, but the android ultimately triumphed.

"Aww, yeah!" he shouted. "Why do you even _try_, tofu boy?" He shoved his friend playfully.

On any other day Beast Boy would have retaliated, but today he just wasn't feeling it. Something was out of place, and for some reason the nagging uneasiness dragged him down below the usual childish arguments. He ignored Cyborg and looked over his shoulder to see Robin enter, followed shortly after by Starfire, both of them smiling slightly and trying too hard not to look at each other, apparently emerging from a dreamy daze.

_Like that's not obvious_, Beast Boy thought. _Less than a minute apart and both looking like they've been handed a million bucks and then hit in the face_. He caught a glimpse of Robin disappearing into the kitchen.

"Cyborg! You are victorious!" Starfire shouted a little too loudly, interrupting the ridiculing interrogation she was certain she would receive. "You have defended your title of 'Awesome Champion of the Halo,' yes?"

"You know it!" Cyborg's excited gesture caught Beast Boy in the ribs, but he did not feel it. Something was definitely wrong. He rose from his seat and made his way to the main corridor.

"Good game," he muttered, handing his controller to Starfire. He could feel three sets of eyes boring into him in shock at his submission, but he did not turn around. It was the prolonged absence of the fourth pair that bothered him.

* * *

The hall doors whisked open, then shut behind him. He walked briskly through the dim corridors, past the doors bearing the names of his other teammates, and bolted up the stairs. The object of his exertion was nebulous at best- if asked outright what he was afraid he would find, he would doubtful be able to answer. Still, instinct drove him on.

He nearly fell over as he skidded around the final corner before her room, the room he somehow knew she did not occupy. The icy combination of apprehension and excitement that fell over him whenever he passed her door was still present, though- he instinctively quieted his footsteps, lest a single violet eye appear, followed by the usual stinging rebuke.

_Not that he would really mind, of course._

And if she could appear there and speak just a few words, regardless of tone, just _acknowledge his existence_, the electric giddiness would jolt him under the ribs and that awful craving would be silenced again. It was the craving he felt periodically, though not quite with the primal hunger he had known that awful night with Terra at the carnival... No, this was a desire of a different breed, one that remained with him day in and day out, seeming to grow stronger and spike more frequently. It was driving him _crazy_.

It was with a shudder that he remembered the night he had stood outside Raven's door, for what could have been the first time in the two years they had called themselves Titans, talking. Just talking to her, like a normal friend might. That night fate had brutally reprimanded her for overstepping her boundaries, for opening her heart to another sentient being. An ancient wizard, released from his binds, had brought her happiness, an emotion that Beast Boy was certain he had never seen in her before. It was accompanied by a pure white robe that she wore for mere hours. But by midnight it was over, and he had found himself outside her door, offering both his apologies and his condolences through two inches of steel.

"_You think you're alone, Raven, but you're not."_

To him it had seemed so obvious, but to her it apparently was not. It was what she had feared for so long, and when she finally opened her door it showed. But he hardly had time to notice, for she had embraced him tightly.

And he had pulled away.

He had been presented with a golden opportunity. She had voluntarily thrown her arms around him- and out of surprise and a sudden sensation of awkwardness he had pulled away. That night was one of the longest of his life. He had lain awake for hours, replaying the incident again and again. He recalled the soft touch of her hair in his face, the warmth of her body against his, and mentally kicked himself each time.

"_Idiot, idiot, IDIOT! WHY did you pull away?"_

He sighed and stepped forward, forcing down the fluttering in his ribs. He forced the door open and the sudden rush of cool air made a slight shock in his bones. After a slight pause for his pupils to dilate, it finally became clear that the room was empty. The eerie atmosphere remained; the ghastly artifacts and sculptures gazed at him, unblinking; the faint scent of ancient tomes and incense still bit his sensitive nose, but the agonizing heaviness that hung over the silent chamber betrayed the possibility of its occupation.

"Knew it," he said to no one. He pressed his fingers to his temples, dredging his brain for another possibility.

_Checked the basement, the computers, the shoreline, her room..._

The roof.

A thunderbolt of adrenaline struck him at once. _Why hadn't he thought of it before? _In a heartbeat he was bolting down the corridors again. The blood pounded in his ears as he took the steps three at a time, still wondering why exactly he felt such urgency. He would probably burst out onto the rooftop, gasping for air and crying out for her, and she would be floating there like always, leering at him and making him quite aware that he had made an ass of himself. Again.

But he forced his wishful thinking down and it did not register. He reached the top of the final staircase and drew a deep breath. Steeling himself for an image he could not anticipate, he threw open the hatch to a blast of cool evening air. Instantly his heart stopped dead and his blood ran cold.

No.

The moment was deathly silent, paralyzing him with panic. Raven was standing on the ledge, her cape and violet hair flowing in the gentle breeze, her face serene and lifted toward the setting sun. The orange radiance tinged her soft features and made them glow, so that her flesh appeared almost fluid, a part of the sunset. And across the face of the brilliant form upon the ledge played the hint of a smile, not of joy but of relief, of the blessed respite brought by the removal of a terrible and perpetual burden.

In stunned silence he stood; transfixed, helpless, enthralled by the absolute emptiness around her...the purity of Raven at the brink of death-

'_NO!_' he screamed internally. _This can't happen! _He willed himself to advance, to grab hold of her and drag her, if need be, back into the Tower and hold her there until her little emo stunt was over...

That didn't happen.His muscles were trembling and his legs were stone- he could manage no more than a crawl. His frantic mind caught fleeting glimpses of a possibility, that maybe she had known he was there all along and was now restraining him, almost as a ceremonial last act.

Behind her burning silhouette and far away, the squealing gulls glided and pinwheeled over the waves. The thought of the dark girl's powers brought a brief ray of hope to his heart

_-Wait- Raven can fly!_

-but if she planned on using them, he realized, she would not be standing here upon the roof, rocking back and forth in the updrafts with her toes hanging over the edge._ She's really gonna do it._ In desperation he forced fruitless words from his cotton-dry throat, but they died on his tongue and withered at his feet.

And instantly, the lead in his legs vanished, and the stored energy sprang him forward in a stumbling lunge against the cold, dead air between them. His momentum seemed to push the air forward, creating a sort of domino effect from one molecule to the next, pushing her delicate form precious millimeters farther away with every step. His arms flailed, desperate to snatch even the edge of her cape. In spite of his urgent concentration, green eyes darted to meet violet, as hers twitched visibly under pallid lids...

His fingers closed around nothing. The softest sigh escaped her slightly upturned lips as her body went limp and she tumbled over the edge. Over the glistening water the gulls began to scream.

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**-(to be continued)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: I'm not dead! I know, this is really late. I could list a thousand excuses, but instead I'll just offer my apologies for those who have been waiting. I do hope the second half is as enjoyable as the first.**

**And I don't own Teen Titans.**

* * *

Beast Boy watched in frozen despair as Raven fell, slowly writhing in the force of the updrafts. Her cape twisted and curled around her slim body as she plunged down, down, leaving him forever alone...

The sorceress fell for an eternity, slowly blotted out into a mere silhouette by the blazing sun behind her. And as the shadowed form continued its descent, her angle to Beast Boy allowed her to intersect with several key points in his field of vision.

The first was a window-

_FLASHBACK_

-her bedroom window, the one he believed for the longest time did not exist. He remembered how he and Cyborg used to joke behind her in hushed tones-

"_Dude! I'll bet she even sleeps upside-down in her closet- like a bat!"_

"_I know, man. She creeps the hell out of me. I'm thinking of donating all my blood to the Red Cross, just to save her the trouble."_

-the thrill of the risk of being caught increasing their giddiness substantially. They would whisper and snicker under their breath until she drew near, her icy aura sealing their lips and freezing their bones. She would pass, the hint of a scowl evident on her face

"_Shit dude, she knows we were talking about her."_

-and the laughter would increase. This went on for quite a while, until the lie which was repeated so many times eventually became a sort of truth between Cyborg and him. Still, the remorse nagged at him, rebuking him for relaying such ridiculous assumptions. It blunted every doubt in his mind that she was, for all intents and purposes, _normal_. Still, he needed absolute proof.

So the next morning, a certain green rooster perched on her window sill. He peeked through the glass to see the girl sleeping soundly in her bed, her face devoid of suffering. Her lips formed not the scowl that so often enfeebled his antics, but rather the faintest hint of a smile. He grinned inwardly and watched her sleep for a few moments, before immaturity took over and he split the morning tranquility with a dissonant cry.

Five seconds later he found himself sprawled on the grass, with a pounding in his skull and a marble figurine near his foot.

_End Flashback_

She continued to fall, gracefully, like a wounded dove, and this time her figure eclipsed a certain tree on the wide expanse of lawn...

_FLASHBACK_

It was the tree that the sun always seemed to hit just right, so that in the afternoon one could climb into the mass of gnarled branches and into the glowing emerald chamber above, to think or sleep or fill any other desire that seized them on a lazy summer day. To all the other Titans it remained an untapped resource; a buried treasure. But that was all for the better, because it was _his_ tree. When the day wore long and his wrists became sore from epic cyberspace tournaments, his tree became a haven from Robin's obsessive hedging for training, or from Starfire's appalling culinary creations.

It was into this tree that he sought to disappear for the next hour, as Robin and Cyborg's heated debate over technical specifications threatened to engulf him soon, and he wasn't interested. But as he ascended the branches he discovered Raven, seated in lotus position against a large limb. She opened one eye at his intrusion.

"Oh...hey," he greeted her cautiously. "Whatcha doing up here?"

"Trying to resume my meditation after my personal space has been invaded once again," she replied, with a hint of severity in her voice.

He laughed nervously. "Uhh...sorry." He started to climb back down, not wanting to pester her further.

"Forget it," she said, less harshly than he'd expected. "I'm finished. I guess it's just nice up here."

_Of course it is- you're here._

He wanted to say it. He came very close to saying it. But he killed the words in his throat, knowing it was better to observe a beautiful bird than to chase it and make it fly away.

"I think we're going out for pizza in an hour," he said feebly instead.

"And you're not playing video games for the next 59 minutes and 30 seconds?"

Her remark annoyed him a little, but he ignored it.

"Come on, I do more besides video games, you know."

This time her eyes met his.

"Such as...?" she prompted impatiently.

"Such as...reading." He felt a little surge of pride at finally being able to prove he wasn't the idiot she thought he was. But to his dismay she seemed unimpressed.

"We've had this discussion before," she said. "Comics don't count and you know it." Already she was closing her eyes and leaning her head back against the branch, suggesting the conversation had come to an end.

"I don't mean comics!" he shot back, a little too harshly. She opened her eyes again, her interest having been restored slightly. With a resigned sigh, she replied:

"All right. What exactly did you read?"

"Moby Dick."

This time she looked genuinely impressed, though it appeared she was trying to hide it.

"_You_ read Moby Dick?"

He sat up. "Yeah. Is that so hard for you to believe?" She opened her mouth to reply, but he didn't let her. She was angering him now.

"Look. You don't have to be all pretentious and assume everyone else-" He stopped abruptly- her eyes had changed. She looked shocked at his sudden hostility, and he realized he had hurt her. With a sigh he slumped back into the recess in the branches, trying his hardest not to watch as she looked away. He listened to the enthralling muteness of late summer, and it became intertwined with the hissing of the cicadas above them. They were silent for a long time.

Finally she spoke, lifting him from his brooding. He steeled himself, awaiting whatever retaliation she would choose.

"Pretentious? A polysyllabic word? Maybe you should lie down."

Looking at her, he could not tell whether this was meant to be insulting or humorous. He studied her face; her mouth was static and devoid of expression. Still, he sensed no antagonism, and an instant later he found himself laughing.

"See?" he said, pretending to know what 'polysyllabic' meant, "If you can be funny, than _I_ can be smart."

She rolled her eyes but returned to the original topic.

"So...what would you say the book was about?"

"Duh, a bunch of guys hunting down a-"

"I mean the figurative meaning. The one not explicitly stated."

"Oh. Well, Ahab was always talking about how the world was out to get him, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't do anything about it."

She seemed pleased, like a schoolteacher whose struggling student had finally caught on.

"Exactly. The story illustrates the futility of man's struggle against Fate."

He felt another burst of pride, this time at actually carrying on a conversation Raven considered worthwile. But he also sensed a sort of gratification, her pleasant surprise at being able to share interests with the unlikeliest person.

"What did you think of Stubb?" she continued.

"The second mate?" he said, now much more at ease. "He was like the complete opposite of Ahab."

"What did you think of his role as a foil to Ahab? Was the juxtaposition too blatant?"

His confidence gave way to sudden bewilderment.

"Huh?"

She looked back at him for a moment... and suddenly she laughed. For a moment it went unnoticed, as the minuscule odds of its occurrence at first prevented it from registering. But then he sat bolt upright, eyes wide and heart pounding gently in excitement.

"You're..._laughing_? At _me_?"

"No," she said simply, but the brusque mirth was too great even for her to resist. A smile spread across her sunlit face and it was beautiful, and he was positively glowing inside, for after two years, he had _finally_ made Raven laugh.

_End Flashback_

The summer sun faded to a cruel, biting wind around his shoulders. He gritted his teeth at the awful emptiness inside him, as she fell the final two stories through the gray evening air. He felt his eyes closing, a vain attempt to shield him from the end. The panicked sobs bottled in his throat but no tears came. He forced his eyelids open, forced himself to look-

With six feet left to fall, her cape filled with air and she swooped upwards, gliding in a flat arc over the beach. As he watched she became racked with awful shivers, just managing to follow her failing course onto the sand before the gently lapping waves.

With renewed vigor he morphed into a hawk and landed beside her, returning to human form to take her trembling shoulders in his hands. His efforts were in vain; after an endless moment of sheer terror and subsequent relief he was shaking as violently as she was. Still, he drew back her soft hair to look into her eyes, and forced words from his choked throat.

"You okay?" was at first all he could manage. He knelt there with her, both of them trembling in the rushing surf. The tears came freely now, and as he continued to gaze at her, he could make out shining pearls in her eyes as well. They slid down her pale face and mixed with the fine vapors from the breaking waves.

"Why...?"

He choked. Raven stared into the nothing behind him, and softly she croaked,

"I don't know."

He put an arm around her shoulders. And a moment later, she buried her face in his chest and cried. He held her, watching the red sun vanish over the ocean. He held her until her trembling subsided, and he knew she had fallen asleep.

The twinkling diamonds of light on the rippling ocean currents slowly faded, and the gulls' screeching calls died with the setting of the sun.

**Well, that's it. Please review.**


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